Ho, ho! This is the second time I have been asked to consider whether or not I am "living in the moment" (and whenever something comes up repeatedly, I figure that it is important that I listen!).
So what does this phrase mean exactly? Do I have any hints whatsoever? I think I do from two sources:
Definition from Acting
1. Focusing constantly on your scene partner with eye and ear.
2. Responding and taking action genuinely without hesitation. In other words, not thinking.
3. Relishing and enjoying the connection.
4. Letting the connection take you where it may within the confines of the story or script.
Counselor's Definition
1. A "now" focus.
2. Taking action in response to now.
3. Not worrying but giving gratitude and having peace.
4. Is not forced but is relaxed.
5. Is enjoyed.
So, why would I want to do this?
In theatre, we say that by BEING "in the moment", we find the story comes alive in us. As a result, we find an automatic connection between the audience and the players. It becomes very real. We also experience a freedom as we are not hesitating or worrying, and instead, moving with the flow of the scene. And, naturally, the work of theatre acting becomes such a joy. In other words, the creativity and the living on stage readily flows and impacts all involved in a positive powerful way.
This sounds like something I might want in my life for sure! How about you? Let's look at if it is possible and how we can do it.
To make it a little more succinct, if we were to combine the definitions above, "living in the moment" would be defined as:
1. A focus on the here and now without distraction (a clear mind).
2. Taking genuine from the heart actions in response to what is happening in the "now".
3. Enjoying the results, no matter where they may take you.
My first question when I look at these 3 points is, "How do you get a clear mind?" I don't know about you, but some days, I find myself easily distracted. However, through the work in theatre directing and acting as well as counseling, I've come to see that it is possible to have a clear mind. The key to remember though is that it is a choice. And secondly, this is not something that comes naturally to us. It is not easy. It takes practice.
We learn to become clear by choosing to focus on the things that are helpful to this moment in time that we are in now. This means that we do not leave any room or time or energy for the future or the unknown or the things we do not understand or cannot control. We actually make a choice to refuse to think anything but about now. As we do this in our lives, the here and now gets all our focus.
The book, "The Power of Focus", centers in on what happens when what we do comes out of living in the moment (it is from a business perspective but the same principles apply to life). If we are not concentrating or distracted by the future or on how Sally acted or on whether or not we'll be accepted…we're then focused on the here and now. This means that our thoughts are converging on one or two things at the most. It is then these things that we put our energy into. And when all our focus and resources are pointed towards finishing one thing, it is not long before it is accomplished. As in our definition, we take action more readily when we are focused.
A child does this well. For example, when a child wants to eat and is hungry, they will put all their energy into it. They will cry. They will beg. They use their entire body to give messages of the urgency of their need. And they don't stop until they have received what it is they want or desire. It's the same when a child plays – they keep doing it and avoid at all costs anything, including bedtime or appointments with Mom or a friend leaving, that might get in the way. They make very distinct choices and are genuinely coming out of their needs and wants in the present.
So how can we insure that the action is not only about the here and now but also a genuine expression? To answer this, let's look at an actor on stage for moment. In order to accomplish goals on stage, an actor has to take action. There are decisions to make. Each outcome molds the character into who they are in the moment when the results are revealed. However, if an actor plays something or someone they have not yet become in the story, there's an obvious falsehood about the performance that emerges. The reason is that the actor is trying to play everything that the character is to become in the story too soon.
I think that's the same with life or business. When we try to be or become more than we are and we are not ready to be that, we give a message that is misconstrued, complicated, messed up. And, as a result, we are not received positively. Instead, we get questions or lack of response or limited commitment from people that are working with us or know us.
How do I know this? I have tried to do this. I have tried to be more than who I am. I've made attempts at forging my career ahead of who I am and where I am, and I have fussed and fumed when it did not work out. In other words, I have been to the place where my message was not clear and where people have wondered what I really am doing. I don't recommend it.
By living in the moment, this can be changed and even sometimes avoided. The reason is that this approach to life and work requires a genuine acceptance of things as they are now and a living out of that instead of out of what is not there. It is honest and upfront. There is little to no question of what it is that a person is or does because there is clarity in who they are and how they communicate.
In other words, it is by living in the moment that we see how peaceful life truly is. Without the worry (in other words with focus and with clarity), without the forging ahead or false pretense (in other words with genuineness), without complexity (in other words with many accomplishments), life and work becomes enjoyable. A person can relax and have gratitude when they live their life by the moment because none of the distractions or weights exists. This is when a person lives in true simplicity.
So can we "live in the moment"? Certainly. Here are some steps to take to begin to move there today!
1. Make a plan for your future that is plain, clear, and simple. Don't try to do too much at once. And once it is written, just follow the plan and don't worry about the results or the future. Make sure that the plan includes a review of how you are doing once in a while. Otherwise, enjoy the ride.
2. Review your one or two goals every day.
3. If something comes down your path that you think you may want to do or be someday, ask yourself if it fits with what you are doing right now. If it doesn't, ask if it is what you should be focused on instead. If it isn't, don't get sidetracked with it. Instead, put it aside and move back to the here and now – review where you are in your plan and take some action today.
4. And most importantly, make a point of giving thanks for each day's gifts. For if gratitude is grown in your heart, you will truly be free.
Keep Actin' and Partnering!
Wanda
